Being Forced To Take My Head Out Of The Sand

This is me, December 1st, 2010.

I'll turn 40 years this coming January. I've never broken a bone and I have no allergies. I played soccer through high school, but stopped in college. I was obsessed with aerobics in college, but after graduation I took up running. I ran two marathons, it took me 4.5 hours, but I finished. Twice.

I've never smoked a cigarette, not once. I drink wine, but not to excess. I haven't drank hard alcohol since college. I eat a relatively healthy diet. Given the choice between a steak and a salad, I'll take the salad every time.

I've always had normal blood pressure. Even while pregnant with twins my blood pressure remained steady all the way to the end. My ob/gyn told me I should consider being a surrogate since my pregnancies were so easy breezy.

Right before I got married 10 years ago, I lost 40 pounds. Since having kids eight years ago I've gained it back, and then some. I haven't exercised regularly in a long time. Too long. I've avoided doctors for the past few years. I wasn't ready to hear the "you really should loose weight" talk.

Two weeks ago I couldn't avoid it though and I went to see a doctor about pain and stiffness I was having in my joints. It was so bad I could barely drive my car or make my kids lunches. My hands a feet were so swollen I couldn't wear my wedding rings and my shoes hurt. She asked all the usual questions, gave me a prescription and sent me on my way to have some blood tests with an appointment to return in two weeks.

I went back this morning expecting her to tell me that everything was fine. I probably had a virus that attacked my joints. She'd possibly tell me that my cholesterol was high and I should really loose some weight.

I wasn't expecting her to tell me that I have Type-2 Diabetes.

I spent the day in shock, but not really. My mom has Type-2 Diabetes and so does her sister, my sister had Gestational Diabetes and she tells me that apparently Norwegians have a very high rate of Diabetes. Who knew.

As I sat there and explained my eating habits to the doctor it hit me just how badly I've been treating my body. My breakfast consists of Indian black tea with a splash of milk. I have zero appetite in the morning. Then I get caught up in my day and only occasionally eat a decent lunch. By the time I pick the kids up from school, I'm starving. I grab something quick, and usually not super healthy, and a Diet Pepsi to get me through the afternoon shuffle of after school activities. Then dinner rolls around and I'm so hungry that I eat three times what I probably should at one sitting. I cook fresh, healthy food for my family -- I just eat a lot of it.

And I love carbs. And I love sugar.

All of this lead me to a diagnosis of Type-2 Diabetes. All of this has lead me to a box full of tiny needles to prick my finger every morning and regular appointments with a nutritionist and my doctor. (Luckily, I do not need medication yet. If I can make changes toward a healthier lifestyle, I may never need to take medications or insulin injections.)

I went back and forth in my head all day questioning if I had the guts to post all this here. You hear a lot about the Diabetes epidemic in America and the inactivity and unhealthy diets that contribute to the disease. Yes, I'm overweight, but now morbidly so. Yes, my eating habits are terrible, but I really don't eat much processed food and I actually like vegetables.

But it's time for me get my head out of the sand and do what I've known for a long time that I need to do -- take care of myself. My genetics are certainly a factor, but my denial about my eating habits is probably a bigger factor in getting me here. If I had started changing they way I eat and getting some exercise maybe I wouldn't be where I am today. Now I'm forced to give up the carbs and sugar filled snacks that I love so much. The chocolate cake or baguette I reach for when I'm stressed or upset is no longer an option.

So that face you see up there, is the face of a woman with Type-2 Diabetes. Learn from my mistakes. Take care of your body and your health.

I'd love any recommendations for Diabetic cookbooks or any good websites with meal plan ideas or recipes. There are a million Diabetes iPhone apps, which one should I download??